I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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