we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
