if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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