how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
