i just wanna soil my oats bro
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he puts the penis in happiness.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
