If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
