shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
