The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
