6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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