marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
