I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
