3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
