You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
