Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
