Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
