Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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