Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
