The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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