there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
