The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
