he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
