You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
