dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
