what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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