you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
