I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
