Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
