Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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