...so i touched it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
