Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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