Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
