So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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