So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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