you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
