Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
