it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
