I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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