You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
whose ass print is on the piano?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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