you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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