I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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