I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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