I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
