oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
