My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
