im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
