Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
