do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Duck Duck Cougar?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
