My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My penis needs a shock collar
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
