So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
