With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
