it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
