We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
